We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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