i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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