you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
