I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
