butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
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