Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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