My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
