i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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