i was rollin on her like bob the builder
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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