i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He shit in the fireplace
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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