Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
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