Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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