I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
