I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
