I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
