maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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