U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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