Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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