R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
