I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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