ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
