Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
