is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
