For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
