ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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