I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Why is your signature on my underwear?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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