non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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