You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
honey bunches of taint.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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