why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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