when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
There r osticjed everywhere
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
