I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
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She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
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He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.