It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
that's an acceptable place to lick
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish