I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?