Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."