So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
