All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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