I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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