I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
