You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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