is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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