Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
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