went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
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Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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