i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Randomize