I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Randomize