He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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