May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
