I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Oh god it's open bar.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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