too bad you live with your parents still
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
