he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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