And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
