Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
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