what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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