IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
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Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
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I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
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