Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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