We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
mondays should just be called national damage control day
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Randomize