I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
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I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
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I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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