I wanna bring you to show and tell
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
two words...techno handjob
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
