Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize