Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(416): View more from Ontario

Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.

Fav 47 1092 7072
share tweet
(763): View more from Minnesota

someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless

Fav 10 4929 1321
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(519): View more from Ontario

he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job

Fav 8 1061 3992
share tweet
(810): View more from Michigan

There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.

Fav 2 3190 1056
share tweet
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(814): View more from Pennsylvania

she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!

Fav 4 1484 1026
share tweet
(817): View more from Texas

There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.

Fav 15 2129 940
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(612): View more from Minnesota

I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.

Fav 11 1295 631
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(360): View more from Washington

I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.

Fav 1 269 243
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(541): View more from Oregon

We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.

Fav 1 437 153
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT