dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla