Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..