There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
