people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
