I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize